With some space between yourself and your initial writing, you'll be able to view your essay objectively and have better luck finding the flaws.
Maybe you are excellent at study groups or other forms of collaborative work. And how he was treating them back. Of course you want it to be a good read and stay on topic, but this is about showing admissions who you are.
These are excellent essay goals, but you should also consider the essay in relation to your classwork. Thesaurus abuse is a lazy and easily spotted trick, and seasoned admissions officers will see right through it.
I thrive on difficult tasks as I enjoy systematically developing solutions to problems. After your initial draft is complete, let it sit for at least a day.
Some students spend a lot of time summarizing plot or describing their work and the "in what way" part of the essay winds up being one sentence.
In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Don't just write about your resume, recommendations, and high school transcripts.
If you need more help choosing a topicyou can find some tips on our Choosing a Topic for Your College Essay page. Likewise, I feel that my time at State University would make my potential similarly limitless. Based on the image the writer uses, how would you describe her relationship with her family?
Think about any article you've read—how do you decide to read it?